Putting smack

Note: This post was taken from an advertisement for Odyessy putters http://www.steelmeetsfeel.com. I was not paid for this post (unfortunately), but I do own an Odyessy White Hot #2 putter (which I love). You're supposed to buy their putter to improve your game so you can hurl insults at your playing partners...(a good craftsman never blames his tools, right?)

Enjoy!
jk

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•I’ve had brushes with death that were closer than that.
•You know what the best joke in golf is? Your short game.
•You know what really helped me with my putting? Hitting the ball in the hole.
•You know what they call that type of putt in Scotland? Horrible.
•I hope you’re better at ordering drinks than you are at putting.
•The problem appears to be that you’re standing too close to your ball…after you hit it.
•You know what you’re doing wrong? Playing golf.
•In case I don’t remind you later, I like vodka martinis.
•One more putt and you get a free toaster.
•You walk around this green any more and you’re going to need hiking boots.
•Can you hand me some sunscreen? It looks like we’re gonna be here awhile.
•I must be dehydrated because I just hallucinated you missed that putt.
•After all that walking I bet you could use an energy bar.
•Should I cal 911? You look like you’re choking.
•You know what’s wrong with our putting? You’re not good.
•Nice touch, hammer.
•Come on, I’m running out of fingers here.
•You putt like I sing opera. Terribly.
•You know what the problem was there, don’t you? your ball didn’t go in the hole.